When Socrates had no interlocutor to pose him questions, he would use a sock puppet who would then pose and answer questions to the great teacher. And if the sock puppet were a boy, Socrates would then have sex with that puppet.
And now, in honor of the father of western philosophy, I shall briefly indulge in part one of his Method. Enjoy.
John, I noticed you finally hung up a curtain over the window in your living room, the one that faces the air shaft between you and your next door neighbor. Although "curtain" is a bit of a aggrandizement, wouldn't you say?
Yes, I would say that "bed sheet" would be a more appropriate term, much as "nailed" would be rather than "hung".
John, this sounds, if you don't mind me saying so, "white trash"?
No, what you have here is the latest example of White Trash Chic. While, yes, it IS a bed sheet and yes it IS nailed to the window, the sheet is not an American flag nor dirty and white: It is queen-size (for a billowy effect) and it is burgundy (to match the split-pea soup green walls). And because it is also a new sheet, the original folds in it are still present and suggest the sort of straight lines you would find in, say, a Doric column in Greek architecture.
If you were to hire someone to come into your apartment and perform the proper measurements and hanging, parts and labor would cost you upwards of five hundred dollars (and that's just for one window).
And how much did it cost you?
$9.99
Today's lesson: Yes, it's American White Trash, but what the hell do you think IKEA is: Swedish Tiffany's? Think again.
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