The greatest idea for a music video ever

The world loves a jaunty song.

And whilst listening to one such song, I devised what would be not only the perfect video for it, but also THE GREATEST VIDEO OF EVER AND FOR ALL TIME AND ANY OTHER SUPERLATIVE YOU CARE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS.

It helps if you're listening to the song right now or have done so several times already, but, regardless: Picture the members of this Lexington, KY-based band (and there are eight of them), in smoking jackets, scattered about in various states of repose at their fin de siecle-style British Explorers Club -- when one of them (and with the help of intertitles) asks of his comrades, "Where should our next Adventure be?"

"Big game in Africa?" mouths a second.

"Big game in India?" suggests another.

"No! I've got it!" declares a fourth.

And so, next we see them, they are off, in their Big Game Jeep with their Big Game Guns, in safari clothes and pith helmets, into the heart of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to bag themselves some Big Game Hipsters.

The hunt doesn't go well at first, though. The Big Game Hipster is a fast and elusive creature that scatters at the first sign of mainstream acceptance and/or a paying job. And this will cause no end of grief to these gun-toting members of the Establishment.

But soon, our heroes, clever in their own right, hit upon an idea to bait and trap these artful dodgers. "What better lure," one declares, "than the powerful aroma produced by the droppings of the bump-backed door key!"

The ploy is, to say the least, a resounding success.

As the day draws to an end, our intrepid Explorers pack their spoils into the jeep and head home to Lexington and a fine, fine cigar.

The last shot we see is of later that night of one explorer, enjoying his newspaper, along with a fine snifter of scotch -- And from across the room, we see a pair of women's legs, bedecked in leg warmers and a pair of Chucks, sticking out of a trophy mounted on the wall.


Today's lesson: Sadly, Ideal Free Distribution probably never will make this video. So, Avalanches, you're safe at No. 1. And Beasties, you're safe at No. 2.

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