tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81254013511352838782024-03-13T09:31:07.004-07:00WALKING THE LINEUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-3156113623758898362018-10-10T04:54:00.000-07:002018-10-10T04:54:00.836-07:00Pseudonymity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicRjV8dsDiO_-KotNjETLjvvA6cbfia1Lv-8WCJUoCAHp8kYgZnIOVWV8CfHPhoHXFmKLMA1sKrg-OD-7jIuQU920m3MPTMBxmsYnbB2GvKWHnRrvsE637y6fuSIfCluBoLOv80FFCCyU/s1600/Pseudonymity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="527" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicRjV8dsDiO_-KotNjETLjvvA6cbfia1Lv-8WCJUoCAHp8kYgZnIOVWV8CfHPhoHXFmKLMA1sKrg-OD-7jIuQU920m3MPTMBxmsYnbB2GvKWHnRrvsE637y6fuSIfCluBoLOv80FFCCyU/s1600/Pseudonymity.jpg" /></a></div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9TAC0m_6XG8Qk9HIx6cY6IkpF746EytpqkwXs3UoKEcRvwk_ouxGvQ3_TNcqb1zvbf4D7Z9lbkkMg2BwItQAFLqrFaq6lc3V1YgTiwhynbSZ3hRJng8xPynvd7RoRV-IUrl-62g99Xfc/s1600/1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="620" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9TAC0m_6XG8Qk9HIx6cY6IkpF746EytpqkwXs3UoKEcRvwk_ouxGvQ3_TNcqb1zvbf4D7Z9lbkkMg2BwItQAFLqrFaq6lc3V1YgTiwhynbSZ3hRJng8xPynvd7RoRV-IUrl-62g99Xfc/s400/1.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">The trend came with a message from an Instagram user who shared an image of her using false eyelashes that came out of her nose, calling them "hair extensions on her nose." As he says, he did it as part of a joke, but it seems to have captured the imagination of some people online.</div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">Of course, many instagramers have taken advantage of nose hair extensions to prepare their costume for Halloween. Like a beauty blogger who pointed out that the long hair on the nose makes it look like they have spiders or cockroaches crawling from inside the nostrils towards their face.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgURPX2jz3lainbBG0Ko0E99rQSAi45K9lAkBCAqaOANJcoXAWiSugijF0wje6e-ch_tXdpqu-BOWvhPo1jcUi5r6w2OjECJkwmd-aJP14EtfegYl0ItD4hGvgVb-LwJfzGn1X4Ld1bhcc/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgURPX2jz3lainbBG0Ko0E99rQSAi45K9lAkBCAqaOANJcoXAWiSugijF0wje6e-ch_tXdpqu-BOWvhPo1jcUi5r6w2OjECJkwmd-aJP14EtfegYl0ItD4hGvgVb-LwJfzGn1X4Ld1bhcc/s400/2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">A blogger received a shower of criticism after jokingly published a video about a new and bizarre "trend of beauty. Sophie Hannah Richardson showed her fans an unusual way to use fake eyelashes after reading the new fashion of nose extensions.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">You can watch the video <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ-5x-unyne/?utm_source=ig_embed" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>.</div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">The 27-year-old thought the tutorial would be a light joke, but some viewers were so horrified that they criticized her through comments under the Facebook video. They called Sophie "disgusting" and even "offensive" after posting the fun 18-second clip. "I thought it was ridiculous," the blogger told Mirror Online. «I saw an article about how the nose hairs were the new trend. I had not seen any video tutorial so I just thought 'why not? ».</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sophie quit her job on social media last year to become a full-time beauty blogger and has been making videos for three years. He has more than 90,000 followers on Facebook, Instagram and his personal blog. "The reaction I receive is mostly positive," he said.</div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-84388311420678053172018-08-18T21:09:00.000-07:002018-08-18T21:09:07.369-07:00So cute !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBQk64GBJ3g4Q9BJPXySib6elz2E_lLsSXGpw7RQI-Y2OdngQ_NrVJLY4uFgnsh9XMUM3BB-Yf2kULFTMyc-xTjdg2p1S6FZi5rEd4TDoo4OcJk6BfT2bs8Jtu1toJ7S12ED4hfLmpjc/s1600/cute.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1068" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBQk64GBJ3g4Q9BJPXySib6elz2E_lLsSXGpw7RQI-Y2OdngQ_NrVJLY4uFgnsh9XMUM3BB-Yf2kULFTMyc-xTjdg2p1S6FZi5rEd4TDoo4OcJk6BfT2bs8Jtu1toJ7S12ED4hfLmpjc/s400/cute.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-84550352434331747452018-07-27T21:08:00.003-07:002018-07-27T21:08:52.739-07:00Once again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2j8e5IldjgVlCyuId9f_QOdWOKAeH7ox8Qxw0E-KqLoYTWUvE_KGetq4v2UPebU_rxxyHfqmDMNPEMIPuJDj2uUB_dRUEShwZo9g20u52clAfdXwdNsI6rOwpZxM0rz9BSHN1m0HYV6Q/s1600/kisspng-compass.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1197" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2j8e5IldjgVlCyuId9f_QOdWOKAeH7ox8Qxw0E-KqLoYTWUvE_KGetq4v2UPebU_rxxyHfqmDMNPEMIPuJDj2uUB_dRUEShwZo9g20u52clAfdXwdNsI6rOwpZxM0rz9BSHN1m0HYV6Q/s640/kisspng-compass.png" width="478" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
You know... a new direction<br />
<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The museum is located in the zoo of the island, and at the time of its inauguration, instead of the usual decorative red ribbon, cut a roll of toilet paper. Very appropriate. Naturally, inside the enclosure, the souvenir shop is not lacking, in which you can buy plastic replicas of different types of poop and other scatological objects.</div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">The presentation text on the website of the museum synthesizes its philosophy very well, evoking how important the poop is, how it delights the youngest of the house and how the rejection and silence about it is already learned as adults.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Remember, moreover, that recent research has shown how important these intestinal bacteria can be for medical advances that go daily through the pipes and sewers of our towns and cities. Topics like this -continues the text- are those that the museum wants to explore, as well as "examine our relationship with the poop and change forever our way of thinking about this amazing substance."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>In Italy there is the Museo da Merda</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But this is not the only museum in the world that has as its protagonist animal defecations. In 2015 it opened its doors, in the medieval Italian castle of Castelbosco, located about 100 kilometers from Milan, the Museu da Merda ('museum of shit').</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">After its opening is an agricultural entrepreneur named Gianantonio Locatelli, who wanted to give some kind of ecological, productive and cultural use to the excrement generated by his 3,500 milk producing cows used to make Gradano Padano cheese, which generate tons of manure per year . Among the many applications he has found, is to convert these feces into biogas, which is used to generate energy -including the one required by the heating system of its facilities-. Also, it uses them to produce fertilizer.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">And it also gives these waste a somewhat more eccentric use: it has created a museum that displays photographs, paintings and also illustrations inspired by this eschatological theme or even made with paints made with excrement, as in the case of the works of Roberto Coda Zabetta , who used a mixture of manure, pigments and resins to carry out his works.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Also, in the museum is highlighted other benefits of manure: as throughout history has been used medicinally (in combination with plants) or even as construction material.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-73961173949876835572018-07-06T10:39:00.000-07:002018-07-06T10:39:00.155-07:00 What is the Pastafarianism or religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?<div style="text-align: justify;">In the year 2005, an American physicist named Bobby Henderson wrote a letter to the Kansas State Board of Education requesting that schools teach the precepts of pastafarism or religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which advocates that the world was created by a kind of giant ball of spaghetti with meatballs.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It was not a practical joke, but a very original way to protest the Council's decision to allow the teaching of intelligent design in Kansas schools. And, although in the USA you can not teach religion in public schools, in many states this theory is taught, which is nothing more than a covert form of creationism that denies the theory of evolution and defends that the world was designed by an intelligent being superior to us.</div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">In his famous letter, the founder of pastafarism wondered why, just as there is time in the classroom to talk about intelligent design, there was not a space dedicated to the Flying Spaghetti Monster (MEV), a superior entity that created the world about 5,000 years ago in a state of intoxication. The MEV also introduced some modifications in his work to make it appear that the world is much older than it really is and put the faith of his followers to the test. "Our Noodle Maker then put fossils, hidden under the surface of the earth, knowing that they would be found later and that this would seem to show that these creatures existed for quite some time. The bones of dinosaurs, for example, were located so well and in such numbers that it is widely believed that dinosaurs walked on the earth millions of years ago, "explains the web of pastafaris in Spain.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Another argument of pastafarismo refers to the relationship between pirates and global warming. Henderson included a messy chart in his chart that showed a perfect correlation between the increase in temperatures and the decline in the number of pirates in the world. It was another ironic criticism of those who argue that the number of natural catastrophes has increased as society has become more secular and religious values have been lost. The issue of pirates has become another pillar of the pastafari world, for them it would be divine beings, and on September 19 International Day of Speaking as Pirates was proclaimed.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">This original critique of the expansionism of creationism in American schools became very popular, and people from all over the world declared themselves to be devoted devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pastafarismo has its own gospels, a symbol of the cross with a fork to eat spaghetti and even their own prayers, which always end with the word "Ramen" (a Japanese noodle soup).</div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;">Another symbol that identifies the devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is to take a pasta strainer to the head. In some countries, such as Australia, it has been possible for the pastafaris to appear with this unique outfit in the driving license photograph. Again, it is not a trivial matter, because the pastafaris argue that it is an option as valid as the veil of Muslim women or the habit of Catholic nuns.</div><br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-40819988444181799632018-06-24T16:55:00.001-07:002018-06-24T16:56:11.183-07:00The definitive joystick<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTuw3U7johAZnBJneTlVIFaeolcYhyphenhyphenLgyL9k9gHifUw0bWrpaEZlNXIPorCCjLq4Qi92Ulh3B6KwCKAk-zHIyAmBCpxkCE7NDyG9-0ldFT8NyTmKDnxoB6TkIgzK024kTzT3p2X1-zQ80/s1600/definitive+joystick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="610" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTuw3U7johAZnBJneTlVIFaeolcYhyphenhyphenLgyL9k9gHifUw0bWrpaEZlNXIPorCCjLq4Qi92Ulh3B6KwCKAk-zHIyAmBCpxkCE7NDyG9-0ldFT8NyTmKDnxoB6TkIgzK024kTzT3p2X1-zQ80/s400/definitive+joystick.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><script async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><br />
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</script>I bet that more than one reader would like very much to play some games with this joystick: PUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-10977468705483833652018-06-14T19:31:00.000-07:002018-06-14T19:31:36.553-07:00Annoying ghost<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Last night I dreamed, as it has happened before, that I was dying.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But in spite of being dead I was still there, bothering, even though nobody saw me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Apparently my ghost was worried about what they would do with my clothes.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It could be thought that a spirit would have more important things to deal with, but no.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was very worried that they would give it to someone who does not have my sympathies, and I remember that I thought "anyone but that".</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So dead but pretentious, I protested without anyone hearing my complaints about how unhappy the election was.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Fortunately, in the middle of my complaints I woke up, which certainly brought me great relief.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But well, my relatives are warned ... eye to choose, that apparently my eternal rest depends on a good dose of who uses my suits.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-81813190087407959392018-06-14T19:24:00.000-07:002018-06-14T19:24:33.841-07:00<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">"If sons of bitches flew, we would not see the sunlight."</span></b><br />
<br />
<br />
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I do not know whose phrase it is, it does not matter too much.<br />
Today I read it and it became more certain than other times, that's all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-84490105297709918952012-07-04T06:58:00.000-07:002012-07-04T06:58:12.521-07:00My hamster<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIuiifjOQA2rApxQ9wRKRcZE4YdoR0HYSLXQSmgrahuS13AF1ZTXEBJVdcMXcNX2TdtlXdHvf0sUh3DeG_ffNeaD1gAHBU6CqsQDbXAMm2HRiB5oufkHiOCE6q2BLiGVyNDPacqTVvQ4w/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIuiifjOQA2rApxQ9wRKRcZE4YdoR0HYSLXQSmgrahuS13AF1ZTXEBJVdcMXcNX2TdtlXdHvf0sUh3DeG_ffNeaD1gAHBU6CqsQDbXAMm2HRiB5oufkHiOCE6q2BLiGVyNDPacqTVvQ4w/s640/001.jpg" width="542" /></a></div>
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This is Falafel; I bought him from a pet shop, and I don't trust these people to be able to tell boys and girls apart. I chose a unisex sort of name on purpose, but this little fella was in a cage marked 'Female Syrian Hamsters'. Later, when I saw him carefully licking what were definitely male naughty bits, I realised that my lack of confidence was totally </div>
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justified.</div>
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I combed his fur with a toothbrush before taking the photo (not the same one that I use to clean my teeth, I hasten to add), so he looks all neat and smart for the camera. He was very well behaved while I did this; Herbert would not have tolerated this kind of treatment in a million years, so it was just as well that she had short hair.</div>
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(By the way, for any readers not familiar with my hamsters, Herbert was a female hamster sold to me as a male. I wonder if pet shop staff know where babies come from ...)</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-72965926576053417912012-07-04T06:55:00.000-07:002012-07-04T06:56:36.816-07:00Course<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
From today's blog takes a new direction.<br />
That's all, nothing more ...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-29985956170721185532006-12-29T05:59:00.000-08:002012-07-03T06:02:56.794-07:00MP3 Friday<div style="text-align: justify;">
It’s the end of the year, which means record companies are going to try to squeeze out yet another Beatles retrospective rather than offer anything new (though to be perfectly fair, I think the Smiths had four albums proper and, like, twice as many greatest hits collections).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-_bEr20qOuo-_xutJLK2qTyIxmWgPEUdDcCnGPNgxhIF7mLmL3bbvtvwK9dbjq-VYQdRZCye6MHhudGaSSDou13x8WSPjvdZiXCeOfGTRN1Ppjj_vgDPJxQB0hhh9Ofe8m0G9HiJ95CU/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-_bEr20qOuo-_xutJLK2qTyIxmWgPEUdDcCnGPNgxhIF7mLmL3bbvtvwK9dbjq-VYQdRZCye6MHhudGaSSDou13x8WSPjvdZiXCeOfGTRN1Ppjj_vgDPJxQB0hhh9Ofe8m0G9HiJ95CU/s200/001.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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As such, the well is a bit dry for this last MP3 Friday of the year. Therefore, I give you a few songs I’ve been holding onto for a while. Oh, and remember a while back when I said the pickin’s were so slim that one day I’d have to pass off Big Star as a new band and just hope for ignorance on your part? Heh, heh, well …</div>
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<br /></div>
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But, as usual, there are three caveats:</div>
<ul>
<li>Caveat number one is that there are some Web 1.0-ers out there still under the assumption that the VCR will spell the end of the movie industry. If that is you, then grab a brown paper bag, take a few deep breaths and, I’ll remove the MP3 link.</li>
<li>Caveat number two is that these MP3’s are links to other sites and can disappear at any time. It’s not magic, it’s just that people have shit to do and can’t wait for yer sorry ass to spend twenty seconds on your T1 knockin’ back downloads.</li>
<li>Caveat number three is that I’m poor like America’s math and science skillz and can’t afford what I can’t download for free. Therefore, I vouch for the song and only the song. If the album walks up to you and asks you for five bucks and says I said he’s good for it, tell him I said he’s full of shit.</li>
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Well, that’s about it. Enjoy: </div>
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TED LEO</div>
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Army Bound (demo)</div>
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Some Beginner’s Mind (demo)</div>
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What’s so awesome about Ted Leo? Oh, nothing much really. He’s just a guy, like you and me, who happens to kick ass with an axe and an attitude like he was some modern day Joe Strummer or Paul Weller. I could keep talking about him and how he may be the best thing in rock today, but you’ve got that John Mayer disc to buy and I wouldn’t want to distract you from douching in the New Year.</div>
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BIG STAR</div>
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Jesus Christ</div>
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Biographies of this band will rightfully tell you that they influenced everyone from Smashing Pumpkins to the Replacements to any other band that rocked, ferociously, yet still wore their heart on their sleeve. However, those same biographies also will say the band were around in the early ‘70s, which is just a lie: b/c MP3 Friday is all about the new shit. (And fyi: There’s really no reason to post this track other than it’s nice to belatedly add it to the list of cool Yule-tide rock songs).</div>
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THE BEES</div>
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Listening Man</div>
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Somehow the English pull off white soul better than Americans, despite the fact that we invented the damn thing (well, we pushed a poll tax on the people who did). At any rate, here’s what it would sound like if Jackie Wilson fronted the Wailers and couldn’t cook worth shit (honestly, marmite is the nastiest crap I’ve ever tasted).</div>
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GREAT LAKE SWIMMERS</div>
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I Will Never See the Sun</div>
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They’re <strike>Midwestern Canadian</strike> Torontons; they’re indie; they like writing songs with a waltz beat. And honestly, how long does it take for you to listen – for free – to an mp3. Two minutes? Not to mention, you’re reading a blog right now: You’re not busy, so get to listenin’!</div>
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<b>Today’s lesson:</b> <i>Thank you to the blogs who make this blog look like it’s got something to say about music and the world in general:</i></div>
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<i>sixeyes</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>gorilla vs. bear</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Chromewaves</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Locust St.</i></div>
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<i>The Hype Machine</i></div>
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<i>So long. Have a great weekend and happy new year.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-15307842088845113712006-12-28T09:58:00.000-08:002012-07-02T10:01:04.040-07:00Looking for friends, no benefits<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's in the female chemistry that at least two or three nights out of the week, women find themselves needing to be in possession of two items: a man and a paycheck's worth of Cosmo's. Those are their Jordaches talking and whether those genes come off at the end of the night is anyone's guess. (Though, men, if you'd like a tip to increase your chances, I'd suggest getting her friends drunk and THEN focus on her: You can ruin her exit strategy and convince her you care about her friends' good time all in one fell swoop.)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCd0vFPvO_qGDHcWazl6mZ_iYTww75yePEa_vtJOtIe_DFRIXNKKtyMXbxBSzr-LZCKztwmXFCj2W6yvC98ke5utKb8AlCUcXtlU3jGxNd2JUvKtukWFMbcTncnvVKBr4I9Uhc4j7ffjE/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCd0vFPvO_qGDHcWazl6mZ_iYTww75yePEa_vtJOtIe_DFRIXNKKtyMXbxBSzr-LZCKztwmXFCj2W6yvC98ke5utKb8AlCUcXtlU3jGxNd2JUvKtukWFMbcTncnvVKBr4I9Uhc4j7ffjE/s320/001.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>
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But women are a little more attuned to their biology than men are to theirs. And they know that even if their chromosomes are telling them to hang out with men, that they can interpret that command any way they see fit. And so, they'll occasionally spend their night in the company of the kind of men who prefer the company of most any kind of men. That is to say, men who can complete the lyric: "Clang! Clang! Clang! goes the trolley ...".</div>
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It's less about man-hating than mental sanity and may occur for a variety of reasons: </div>
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<li>For instance, there's evidence to suggest that we men have no intention of giving up fart humor.</li>
<li>Or perhaps women are tired of men who never learned that spooning and a handshake aren't fungible.</li>
<li>Or, it could be that, in a misplaced effort to be funny, we've used terms like "clam" and "tuna trap" with our outside voice one two many times (which would be "one").</li>
<li>And then there's the category we'll just call "ethnic jokes".</li>
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But whatever their reason, it's undoubtedly a valid one. And so, women will choose to don they now their gay apparel in order to recover the energy they need to hear another straight man stammer, "Sorry, I ... I thought you might be into that."</div>
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What they may not realize, however, is that men get sick of the rat race, too, and must step back and take a break from it all. We tend to fill in those blanks with porn but even that gets old after a long, long while. Eventually, you've seen everything or discovered your limits, one, and end up critiquing and comparing and wondering why a particular camera shot is, like, 90 per cent cock: Because, sometimes, even straight porn looks like a postcard from the Washington Monument.</div>
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That's why I have decided that there needs to be a male/lesbian equivalent of the fag hag relationship. "Lez lads" was the first name I came up with. And then there was "Dyke Dudes". But they're both kind of clunky. A "Swiss Miss" has a much better ring to it, but the connection between a man and his lesbian friend with that of an attractive nation with inviolable borders probably isn't so obvious.</div>
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But those sort of details we can worry about later. All I want to know now is whether there are women out there who are willing to share a few drinks within the DMZ of sexuality. I figure lesbians and men have a lot in common: We can both be pretty cynical; we can both get pretty tired of society defining us; and we can both get pretty tired of straight women who say they will and then they won't.</div>
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So, if that sounds like you, ladies, and you need a man to share a pint and trash talk about past relationships, then you've found him.</div>
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But, for ANYONE who's read this far -- be you man, woman or "independent" -- then please help me coin a term for the relationship between a man and his lesbian friend/drinking partner. You may respond by email here.</div>
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Please include your favorite term from above -- Lez Lad, Dyke Dude, or (coming at it from the other angle) Swiss Miss -- or create one of your own. And include an essay of no more than a few hundred words as to why your choice is the best.</div>
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The winner will receive something I'm sure, and will be announced in four weeks time or as soon as we get more than one entry. Whichever comes first.</div>
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<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>Perhaps it's my imagination but it seems like most musicals are geared toward women and homosexual men. And if that's the case, then we have something else in common: We both hate fucking musicals.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-50346176455546103012006-12-27T14:35:00.000-08:002012-06-27T14:36:15.377-07:00Random airport tirade<div style="text-align: justify;">
Why are we banning liquids when we should be banning children? I say, you can't carry them onboard if they don't fit in a plastic bag.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>Fortunately, the airport DJ is playing "Waiting for a Girl Like You" from Foreigner's "4" album. I would hate to think what my nerves would be like if they played something crappy -- like the next song, "Passionate Kisses" by Mary Chapin Carpenter.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-79603829577626640122006-12-26T14:34:00.000-08:002012-06-27T14:35:12.943-07:00Random observation<div style="text-align: justify;">
XL 102, a rock station here in Richmond, VA, doesn't seem to recognize the irony every time they announce "...Nirvana, on Richmond's station for NEW rock ..."</div>
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<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>It must've made them sad the day that had to throw away all those Foghat albums.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-81058256576016670152006-12-22T11:32:00.000-08:002012-06-25T11:34:45.104-07:00Merry f'in ChristmasChristmas shopping sucks all kind of balls. For example, these kinds of balls:<br />
<ul>
<li>I was tired of shopping the moment I started. My first stop was Barnes and Noble and the second I walked in, I spied a pile of books on Tai Chi and thought: "I wouldn't mind Tai Chi if didn't involve so much damn reading."</li>
<li>The book I want to see -- not read, just see -- is "Puppy Splattered Brains" by Mitch Albom: I hate that guy.</li>
<li>I like how in the Short Pump, VA, Target "Cleaning Supplies" is located directly across the aisle from "Women's Wear", while "Men's Wear" is directly across from games, TV's and fun stuff.</li>
<li>You know, Christmas is the one time of year you get to see guys who would otherwise be fishing day-old bagels out of the garbage, dressed in dark coats and top hats, trying to get you to shop at Schwartzchild. And really, isn't that Christmas?</li>
</ul>
<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>That's, roughly, 20 presents for 17 people (plus one granny's birthday present) in a little under five hours. ... Too bad I never passed a gun store. Sure, they SAY it's a week. But this is Virginia.</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-79530637367697349112006-12-20T06:24:00.000-08:002012-06-21T06:25:59.091-07:00Merry Christmas from JFK<div style="text-align: justify;">
Greetings from the trailer park and lawn chairs that are the boarding terminal for Gate 19 for Jet Blue. The airline's official terminal will be completed sometime soon, they tell us, but until then, it's like waiting to see whether your application for asylum will be approved.</div>
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HJ, as you may well have guessed, is on Christmas vacation and, as such, will be posting somewhat less frequently over the course of the following week. There will be the odd post detailing the aggravating circumstances surrounding buying Christmas presents for about 20-plus relatives on a budget and one about the amount of salty Virginal ham I will eat on Christmas Day. But the regular saturation bombing of my life via this column (through which you no doubt live vicariously) will not resume until sometime next Thursday.</div>
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Until then, enjoy Christmas or any of the many varieties of Channa-Hanna-Upsilon-ikah.</div>
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Take care,</div>
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John</div>
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<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>Oh, also a greetings to our Islamic terrorist buddies who've made the nightmare no longer the flight but every liquid and shoe-removal leading up to departure. I'm also going to blame you for the death of the Hot Stewardess and her replacement by flunkouts of gay hairdresser school.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-31027889630214292572006-12-19T11:27:00.000-08:002012-06-19T11:28:32.904-07:00No one's as dumb as our graduates!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Interboro is the name of a technical college here in New York City. And its current ad campaign on subways lists, along with a variety of reasons to enroll, a picture and name of a random, alleged, graduate. And next to that testimonial is the ad slogan, "If they can do it, so can you!" </div>
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Now, there’s no biography listed with these people; no reason to think that they overcame great odds and received their degree despite a mountain of hardships, and are now a success somewhere -- and if they can make it, then so can you. No, it just has their smiling faces, their names, and a slogan that says, “If they can do it, so can you!” Or, as I read it, “If these dumb shits can do it, well, who can’t?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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And, just a few days ago, in fact, I was riding the subway and spotted two of these ads side-by-side. And, still getting a chuckle from the slogan, I decided to see just which dumb shits to whom I and the rest of the subway car were being compared. And do you know whose pictures accompanied the ads? Which random persons to whom you, I, and about a million more subway riders are intellectually superior in all manner, shape and form?</div>
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Why, that of an African immigrant and a blonde, of course.</div>
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And if THEY can do it ...</div>
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<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>I wish I had written down the immigrant man’s name because it made “Dikembe” or “Kunta Kinte” sound like “Ralph,” as if they were whispering: “Psst, he’s foreign”.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-38950417063871079112006-12-18T21:05:00.000-08:002012-06-18T21:06:04.823-07:00BS from the BS master<div style="text-align: justify;">Hungover and strewn out on the couch yesterday afternoon, I thought many fine, wonderful thoughts. Regretably, Hot Johnny is a family publication and these are the only ones fit for print. Enjoy.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGKE4PeZDVqbEdWHOO5YUD3X79SFKQcFunPKEcGTrMuWPCAehqt53TvkhkXy1Mq-Rncx5C2L-N2Tw98rl6Tt3QIrLKKEOKiV5_fPgPWsmw0-Se0lLXdTU3tsWXFIhY6kTliJdgfSF-wZ4/s1600/001+puppies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGKE4PeZDVqbEdWHOO5YUD3X79SFKQcFunPKEcGTrMuWPCAehqt53TvkhkXy1Mq-Rncx5C2L-N2Tw98rl6Tt3QIrLKKEOKiV5_fPgPWsmw0-Se0lLXdTU3tsWXFIhY6kTliJdgfSF-wZ4/s200/001+puppies.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><ul><li>I have a great idea for a new cartoon. It’s about the adventures of Tinkle, the abortion clinic-bombing puppy. I figure it’s sure to be a hit, because: Who hates puppies?</li>
<li>Ever drank a lot of beer or ate a lot of green vegetables and then the next day had to sit in an auditorium and was expected to observe periods of prolonged silence? It’s like if Broken Lizard, the guys who brought us “Super Troopers” and “BeerFest,” had remade “Run Silent, Run Deep.”</li>
<li>Microwaved bacon has no soul, and I won’t allow it in the house. Microwaved burritos, on the other hand …</li>
</ul><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>Today’s lesson:</b> <i>The inventor of the delivery menu is unsung as a hero to modern western civilization.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-13804252464178395722006-12-15T04:31:00.000-08:002012-06-13T04:34:56.732-07:00MP3 Friday: bears, Jews, and champagne<div style="text-align: justify;">
The end of the year means many things to many people. For the champagne industry, (whom I’ve always suspected of inventing “New Year’s”) it’s a boondoggle. For the Jews, it’s a time to keep your head down and not make any sudden moves.</div>
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(Incidentally, if you ever read the Jewish book “How to Defend Yourself During Christmas” and the Wilderness Guide “How to Defend Yourself During a Bear Attack” you’ll notice some striking similarities: For instance, Christians can climb trees, too. So, Jews, your best bet in case a Christian attacks is to scare it off by making a lot of noise -- say, about a lawsuit.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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The end of the year also means that this will be the last MP3 Friday until after the “New Year” (© Korbel). The dearth of records -- plus a week of presents and salty, salty Virginia ham -- will put a serious crimp in my duties as hunter/listener.</div>
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I hope you can survive.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Now, before we go on, let’s go over the rules:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>No touching. No chewing.</li>
<li>No sweat if you’re the artist and you'd like the free link to come down .</li>
<li>No guarantees how long these mp3’s will be up.</li>
<li>And, finally, No Way have I listened to the albums, because No Way do I have the money to do that.</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Got it? Good.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Now, shake hands, and let’s have a clean fight.</div>
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<br /></div>
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MUNK & JAMES MURPHY</div>
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Kick out the Chairs (replayed by WhoMadeWho)</div>
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Whatever the opposite of Perry Como is, this song’s got it.</div>
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<br /></div>
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VOXTROT</div>
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Warmest Part of the Winter</div>
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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn; Some Pot Grows in Texas. And all the while these Austin boys keeps chuggin’ along.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
AFROMAN</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Afroman is Coming to Town</div>
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This track comes from (Mr.?) Afroman’s “A Colt .45 Christmas”. And I think that’s all I need to say.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
RACONTEURS</div>
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Steady as She Goes (acoustic)</div>
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Not everything Jack White touches turns to gold. Sometimes it only turns to silver. And boo-hoo for you because silver doesn’t match the dress you were planning to wear to the ball.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
ALBERT HAMMOND, JR.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Postal Fish</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I can’t see you personally, and yet I know what you’re thinking; “Albert Hammond, Jr? The Stroke? Have you lost it, HJ?” And, look, I’m just as surprised as you. But the song is short; it chugs along; and it hits the 17-year-old in all of us. And in a pass/fail world, I give it a pass.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Today’s lesson:</b> <i>Allow me to recognize the following blogs for the Re-Education of Hot Johnny:<br />
Said the gramophone<br />
<br />
Who killed the mixtape?<br />
<br />
Work for it<br />
<br />
I guess I’m floating<br />
<br />
brooklynvegan<br />
<br />
The Hype Machine<br />
Thanks again. Be safe. And take care, Jewish People.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-35415740317036054712006-12-14T05:59:00.000-08:002012-06-12T06:04:33.865-07:00Bush write paper on stuff<div style="text-align: justify;">
With Bush needing yet another extension on his "new way forward", I feel like we're his college professor and every month there's a new reason why he can't hand the paper in. Think about it ...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQVdvCVlVdiFKBRxzKkXCriMFEhy9JMq68XihjImC4kRK72JEMNZ5HKmhkjmsJm5MSGcBnk2lFEQkmqvReMCA7tUcjtRPiEvieFjeYqQeFTgOTBe7imqO3pLOb6-bkwqHViqKMlJqwOtw/s1600/bush+yale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQVdvCVlVdiFKBRxzKkXCriMFEhy9JMq68XihjImC4kRK72JEMNZ5HKmhkjmsJm5MSGcBnk2lFEQkmqvReMCA7tUcjtRPiEvieFjeYqQeFTgOTBe7imqO3pLOb6-bkwqHViqKMlJqwOtw/s200/bush+yale.jpg" width="145" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<ul style="text-align: justify;">
<li>he's says he knows the deadline; he says he can meet the deadline; and then -- whoops! -- suddenly, it's deadline, and he can't make it.</li>
<li>when he says that and we ask him, "Well, what sort of progress have you made," he hems and haws; and says that this is a big project; and that there's a lot to consider here; and he really wants to do it right; but if he's going to do it right, then he has to have more time.</li>
<li>when someone gently suggests a strategy (or thesis) that's not his, he gets cranky and says that's not really the direction he wants to go -- though he's sure to mention that he appreciates the input.</li>
<li>no one wants to say it, but you KNOW someone else is doing the work for him. but, frankly, you'd be happy if he'd just hand something in that's half way respectable, so we could all be done with it.</li>
<li>and, finally, none of us should be surprised if, when we finally get to look at this white paper, the margins are narrowed, the spacing is tripled, and the president has typed whole damn thing in 14-point, Copperplate Gothic Bold.</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>Oh, and block quoting. Lots and lots of block quoting.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-33964861316641079472006-12-13T05:43:00.000-08:002012-06-06T05:46:11.343-07:00The other Socratic method<div style="text-align: justify;">
When Socrates had no interlocutor to pose him questions, he would use a sock puppet who would then pose and answer questions to the great teacher. And if the sock puppet were a boy, Socrates would then have sex with that puppet.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS1YBJmPUlNFoAKSTYTJuKn-04jiQQa4j5LlPAPkawaOny65lyRxPlvcq6a5mjs3pg4Acz8qIqylfCulBUG5-Pj-L0jEuH2RT6BP1G0D25r4LnRAN8HJ3MhtZUWCJjdC1u0zmUfYl1rhA/s1600/Socrates.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS1YBJmPUlNFoAKSTYTJuKn-04jiQQa4j5LlPAPkawaOny65lyRxPlvcq6a5mjs3pg4Acz8qIqylfCulBUG5-Pj-L0jEuH2RT6BP1G0D25r4LnRAN8HJ3MhtZUWCJjdC1u0zmUfYl1rhA/s320/Socrates.png" width="208" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And now, in honor of the father of western philosophy, I shall briefly indulge in part one of his Method. Enjoy.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>John, I noticed you finally hung up a curtain over the window in your living room, the one that faces the air shaft between you and your next door neighbor. Although "curtain" is a bit of a aggrandizement, wouldn't you say?</i></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes, I would say that "bed sheet" would be a more appropriate term, much as "nailed" would be rather than "hung".</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>John, this sounds, if you don't mind me saying so, "white trash"?</i></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No, what you have here is the latest example of White Trash Chic. While, yes, it IS a bed sheet and yes it IS nailed to the window, the sheet is not an American flag nor dirty and white: It is queen-size (for a billowy effect) and it is burgundy (to match the split-pea soup green walls). And because it is also a new sheet, the original folds in it are still present and suggest the sort of straight lines you would find in, say, a Doric column in Greek architecture.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
If you were to hire someone to come into your apartment and perform the proper measurements and hanging, parts and labor would cost you upwards of five hundred dollars (and that's just for one window).</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<blockquote>
<i>And how much did it cost you?</i></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
$9.99</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Today's lesson:</b> <i>Yes, it's American White Trash, but what the hell do you think IKEA is: Swedish Tiffany's? Think again.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8125401351135283878.post-46513782735376591832006-12-12T05:40:00.000-08:002012-06-06T05:42:58.788-07:00A.D.D.ing it on a Sunday<div style="text-align: justify;">
If you were talking to me at any point on Sunday afternoon or evening, there is a 90 per cent chance that I was half paying attention to what you were saying.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8eSO5zDT1OMpz2MvmQNhfYdJAYKL0yb_luNqv-Vip0DW6ixZgmn5U6qecn8pBSWA6zjPNO3sr-e9y51hors8vO3_1brJ1MfTGQmHsMgW_hSMTMJXFhB58cBLovaU8yDL1Pmyg0nnI7Q/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8eSO5zDT1OMpz2MvmQNhfYdJAYKL0yb_luNqv-Vip0DW6ixZgmn5U6qecn8pBSWA6zjPNO3sr-e9y51hors8vO3_1brJ1MfTGQmHsMgW_hSMTMJXFhB58cBLovaU8yDL1Pmyg0nnI7Q/s320/001.jpg" width="175" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
However, there is a 10 per cent chance that while you were talking, the following thoughts were floating through my brain:</div>
<ul>
<li>I could understand it if aliens just walked into a bar one day and assumed the word “Bacardi” had many definitions: bar napkin holder, T-shirt, wet T-shirt. I’d probably think the same thing myself.</li>
<li>One conversation I had on Sunday reminded me of a joke I had made to myself, long, long ago: If your last name is “Rogers,” then your porn name is automatically “Butt Rogers”.</li>
<li>The football ticker read: “Browns 7 Pittsburgh 27 – receiving, Pit: Washington, 67 Yards”. And, being the immense Redskins fan that I am, I immediately thought, “Well, that’s probably the last time this season I’m to see ‘Washington’ and ‘Win’ in the same sentence.”</li>
<li>Standing outside a bar and smoking a cigarette, I couldn’t help but notice the black filters on the air conditioners in the windows of the building across the street and thinking, “Wow, it’s like a bunch of robots are mooning me.” And then I started to compose the screenplay for “Robot Fraternity” in my head.</li>
<li>Are you dispensing soap or are you giving a robot a handjob? You be the judge.</li>
<li>Why this sudden popularity for Stella Artois? Does Paul Giamatti have a new film I don’t know about?</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Today’s lesson:</b> <i>The definition for “bright, shiny thing” is rapidly expanding in the world of Hot Johnny.</i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0