The Cheney you may have missed
I'll let the experts hash out the president's performance during the State of the Union address; me, I'm more interested in Cheney's conduct during the hour-long speech: just how did the old man perform?
Well, I have to say, he reminded me a lot of myself when I was a kid during Sunday morning worship: a lot of fidgeting, a lot of looking around, and a lot of smiles to friends somewhere else in the building (fortunately, he had no mother pinching him to keep still).
But, in case you haven't had a chance to watch just the vice president, then here are a few highlights:
(Please note: Times listed go by the video posted here at The Washington Post web site, which skips Bush's march down the aisle to the rostrum.)
5:04-5:10 Cheney looks to his right for the first of many times to come.
7:40 We see the only example of synchronized sitting between the vice president and the speaker of the house. They have just stood to salute the president's call for earmark reform legislation. So, it'll be any day now.
8:57-9:18 Cheney, liking what he saw, focuses his attention once again toward his right, this time for more than 20 seconds.
10:23 At the words "affordable and available health care" both the speaker and the vice president clap. She stands; he coughs first.
10:40-10:45 The president states, "When it comes to healthcare, government has an obligation to care for the elderly, the disabled, and poor children." On the words "elderly [and] disabled," Cheney nods and smiles at someone down front, as if sharing an inside joke.
10:47-10:59 Cheney looks down toward his lap inexplicably.
11:02 He quickly raises his hand to put what one can only assume to be a mint or cert or some kind of candy in his mouth.
11:21 Possible chewing
12:07, 12:21-12:25 Chewing confirmed.
17:05-17:11 Bored, Cheney finds Caspar floating to his right again
18:52 The vice president has a broad smile on his face and is looking toward his right, as if he's sharing a joke with someone in the audience. The president has just mentioned his goal to reduce gasoline usage in the U.S. by 20 per cent in the next 10 years.
20:50-20:52 Cheney and Bush drink water at the same time, demonstrating how clever a ventriloquist the vice president is.
31:19-31:27 And once again to his right.
34:44-33:55 And again.
38:31- 38:42 And then, once more, for old time's sake.
Today's lesson: I suppose if Hillary were ever made vice president, she would look to her left. And then to her right. And then back again to her left again. And then quickly to her -- no, wait, back to her left again. And then a whole lot of time just looking down the center but constantly nodding to her left and to her right.
Well, I have to say, he reminded me a lot of myself when I was a kid during Sunday morning worship: a lot of fidgeting, a lot of looking around, and a lot of smiles to friends somewhere else in the building (fortunately, he had no mother pinching him to keep still).
But, in case you haven't had a chance to watch just the vice president, then here are a few highlights:
(Please note: Times listed go by the video posted here at The Washington Post web site, which skips Bush's march down the aisle to the rostrum.)
5:04-5:10 Cheney looks to his right for the first of many times to come.
7:40 We see the only example of synchronized sitting between the vice president and the speaker of the house. They have just stood to salute the president's call for earmark reform legislation. So, it'll be any day now.
8:57-9:18 Cheney, liking what he saw, focuses his attention once again toward his right, this time for more than 20 seconds.
10:23 At the words "affordable and available health care" both the speaker and the vice president clap. She stands; he coughs first.
10:40-10:45 The president states, "When it comes to healthcare, government has an obligation to care for the elderly, the disabled, and poor children." On the words "elderly [and] disabled," Cheney nods and smiles at someone down front, as if sharing an inside joke.
10:47-10:59 Cheney looks down toward his lap inexplicably.
11:02 He quickly raises his hand to put what one can only assume to be a mint or cert or some kind of candy in his mouth.
11:21 Possible chewing
12:07, 12:21-12:25 Chewing confirmed.
17:05-17:11 Bored, Cheney finds Caspar floating to his right again
18:52 The vice president has a broad smile on his face and is looking toward his right, as if he's sharing a joke with someone in the audience. The president has just mentioned his goal to reduce gasoline usage in the U.S. by 20 per cent in the next 10 years.
20:50-20:52 Cheney and Bush drink water at the same time, demonstrating how clever a ventriloquist the vice president is.
31:19-31:27 And once again to his right.
34:44-33:55 And again.
38:31- 38:42 And then, once more, for old time's sake.
Today's lesson: I suppose if Hillary were ever made vice president, she would look to her left. And then to her right. And then back again to her left again. And then quickly to her -- no, wait, back to her left again. And then a whole lot of time just looking down the center but constantly nodding to her left and to her right.
Labels: political humor
posted by Generalissimo Juan Flores at 5:31 AM
I loved this post.
I also found Pelosi to be quite annoying with her attempts to read the speech off of the monitors.
LMAO!!!
Blow by Blow of nothing going on...
You're generous to assume that was candy or mints he was poppin'. I figured it had to be meds until he started chewing.
The corpse of Dick Cheney needs a lot more than simple medication in order to appear animate and living as you or I. He was living solely on souls alone.
I bet he was popping the small bones of the hands and feet of Iraqi children to chew on while he contemplates going home and slapping his flaccid phallus against the headboard to Abu Ghraib photos.
Right before he popped the pill, I thought he looked like he might be having a heart attack. Could it have been nitroglycerin? Or was it antacid because he couldn't stomach what W was saying?
I can't believe that nobody is talking about Dick laughing during the section about oil.
On a side note, you gotta love how Bush wants us to cut our use of gas by burning other stuff, not by conserving or by raising CAFE standards. Mmmmm.... Oil.
I'm betting he popped a cough drop. He looks more and more like the Penguin everyday.. I hate that man!