Merry f'in Christmas

Christmas shopping sucks all kind of balls. For example, these kinds of balls:
  • I was tired of shopping the moment I started. My first stop was Barnes and Noble and the second I walked in, I spied a pile of books on Tai Chi and thought: "I wouldn't mind Tai Chi if didn't involve so much damn reading."
  • The book I want to see -- not read, just see -- is "Puppy Splattered Brains" by Mitch Albom: I hate that guy.
  • I like how in the Short Pump, VA, Target "Cleaning Supplies" is located directly across the aisle from "Women's Wear", while "Men's Wear" is directly across from games, TV's and fun stuff.
  • You know, Christmas is the one time of year you get to see guys who would otherwise be fishing day-old bagels out of the garbage, dressed in dark coats and top hats, trying to get you to shop at Schwartzchild. And really, isn't that Christmas?
Today's lesson: That's, roughly, 20 presents for 17 people (plus one granny's birthday present) in a little under five hours. ... Too bad I never passed a gun store. Sure, they SAY it's a week. But this is Virginia.

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