Hungover and strewn out on the couch yesterday afternoon, I thought many fine, wonderful thoughts. Regretably, Hot Johnny is a family publication and these are the only ones fit for print. Enjoy.
- I have a great idea for a new cartoon. It’s about the adventures of Tinkle, the abortion clinic-bombing puppy. I figure it’s sure to be a hit, because: Who hates puppies?
- Ever drank a lot of beer or ate a lot of green vegetables and then the next day had to sit in an auditorium and was expected to observe periods of prolonged silence? It’s like if Broken Lizard, the guys who brought us “Super Troopers” and “BeerFest,” had remade “Run Silent, Run Deep.”
- Microwaved bacon has no soul, and I won’t allow it in the house. Microwaved burritos, on the other hand …
Today’s lesson: The inventor of the delivery menu is unsung as a hero to modern western civilization.