Political code words

A lot of non-American readers of this blog may be paying attention to this country's upcoming Congressional elections. And many of them may be hearing words like “immigration” and “borders” and “fences” and get the idea that we don't want foreigners in this country anymore. And before that idea becomes accepted as fact, I want to state, clearly and phonetically, that that Could. Not. Be. Far.Ther. From. The. Truth.

The problem is, that, in this country, you can't just come out and say “Mexicans”: That would be rude. It's like how the French would always talk about the “Algeria problem”, when, what they meant was “dirty, dirty ragheads.” Or how you can't call people “homosexuals” or “gays” anymore: It's “Tom Cruise”: “Tom Cruise makes me uncomfortable.” or “Jesus Christ, how many roles go to Tom Cruise in Hollywood: All of them?”

You have to be sensitive to the demands of any marketing campaign. And the fact that some people may know a greasy Mexican or a dirty, dirty Raghead and think quite fondly of them will determine how you press your agenda. Remember: People think all kinds of things these days. And for maximum marketing effect, you can't afford to ignore a one of 'em.

So, for any foreign or foreign-born reader of this blog who may be confused by America's current attitudes towards the brown, black, or yellow peoples of the world, -- the chiggers, the choggies, the frogs, the gooks, the sand niggers, the sand gropers -- fear not: We're just wary of the shifty horde on our Southern border, not you.

I hope that clears up the matter.

Today's lesson: It might help that when you land at, say, JFK or Reagan, that you wear a big sign around your neck, written in English, detailing your thoughts about the dirty Mexicans, too. I'm not saying it will always help, but it might make us inclined to look past any illegal fruit you might be bringing into the country.